DOCTOR WOES
Isn’t it funny how every time you visit the doctor, it’s as if they’ve never seen you before? And you have to fill out all those forms with your life history…wonder if they compared all of my past ones, how much they would vary from each other:
Last menstrual period: April 22, 2000
April 2000
April 2001
2000-2001?
a few years ago
can’t remember
I settle down with the clipboard and a pen advertising the latest allergy medication, and carefully
write my full name at the top (names have been changed to protect the innocent): EDWINA JANE TURMOIL. In full block letters, printed. When the page asks for my street address, I
write “Road” all the way out, elegantly.
write my full name at the top (names have been changed to protect the innocent): EDWINA JANE TURMOIL. In full block letters, printed. When the page asks for my street address, I
write “Road” all the way out, elegantly.
But as the paper progresses, I begin to tire. They want my name again?? "Edwina J. Turmoil." Still in capital letters, but not quite as neat.
And again???! "Ed Turmoil," cursive-written, let’s get it over with. And by the way, I live on “Rd.” too!
Visiting the doctor’s office is always a time of both eagerness and frustration for me, because I love to read. And they have all those interesting magazines that I do not have at my home. After the penance of filling out all the history forms, I get to choose which magazine I would like to read-- magazines that stun me with amazing news I can’t believe I’ve been living without all this time. Such as “Make-over your bathroom in 30 minutes” or “Cosmetic tips that make you look younger.” And of course there are the “to die for” food recipes.
But now the worry begins. I’ve found the article I REALLY want to read and/or that’s going to change my life, BUT: will I have time to read it before the nurses all my name??? Hurry, hurry, skim, skim!!
This time they called my name right in the middle of learning about actress Fran Drescher and how she has dealt with cancer. I didn’t know she had cancer, I wonder what kind it is? .…sigh.
Thanks for the smile! Having recently been to a new dr., I can relate. You nailed it! Havne't you wanted to add some lines of your own? "Excuse me...don't you want to know just how much these 5 babies weighed? And whether or not they were delivered with benefit of very powerful medicine? Oh and by the way, in your blank about 'PMS Symptoms' I just decided to list the quantities of chocolate eaten." Penance indeed! I confess to having ripped out a recipe or two from a magazine. Now I bring paper with me just in case (and don't feel like such a vandal.)
ReplyDeleteTee hee! I have to write it all down at home every month. Otherwise, I forget why I'm crabby.
ReplyDeleteTrue, true. As someone with a psychology degree, I always wonder if asking the same questions each time gives them some clue as to your emotional state. After all, if answers that should remain consistent change...what does that tell them about you??? What if you can't remember how much each of your children weighed? Do they tip off the department of family and children's services? I can hear it now...hey, this one here...you may need to keep an eye on her. She can't even remember how much her kids weighed.
ReplyDelete